Life at 21

Nihal Parmar
3 min readMay 13, 2022

How do you know that you are growing up?

I think it has something to do with being more independent. Having autonomy over your own life, and taking responsibility for how you spend your time and energy.

Inevitably, your attention starts to shift. You focus less on what other people are doing, and more on yourself. And you start to realize(more and more) that your friends are idiots and you should have stayed at home.

So I’m 21 now and I’ve entered into my late twenties. I’m not sure if I’m an adult yet as I still have some growing up to do. But, as a work-in-progress, here are some reminders for myself and maybe for you too.

As always, you are responsible for your thoughts, actions, and emotions. If you don’t like something about your current situation, it’s up to you to change it.

Do not practice what you do not want to become.

I’m trying to learn to live like a surfer. The surfer doesn’t control or fight the waves, he rides them. You don’t control the circumstances of your life, but you control the response, and that is enough.

When you feel like you don’t know what to do…

Remember, Action kills anxiety. Action kills anxiety. Action kills anxiety.

Think about the next step. What is the next step that you can take? And then focus on that step, one step at a time.

On Health…

When you are scrolling through Instagram and you feel insecure about your body, remember that Everybody is on steroids. As men, we are bombarded with unrealistic body image standards. It’s important to stay fit, but comparing yourself to anyone selling “supplements” won’t do you any favors.

Your age isn’t how old you are. It’s how flexible you are.

When you are ready to take on the world…

Take one red pill at a time. Not the whole bottle. Unless you are Jake Tran.

Remember that eventually, everybody is going to get canceled. We don’t need more critics looking for toxic traits in others. We need more self-awareness.

Everyone makes mistakes. It’s what we do next that counts. When you make a mistake, acknowledge it, apologize, rectify if possible, and then move on. Put yourself in environments where this is normal. Remove yourself from environments where it’s not.

Keep your nut small

Minimize the amount of money that you spend every month. There is nothing wrong with having nice things. I just think, as a young person you don’t want to be trapped at a job because you need the money to pay for your AMG Mercedes. I rather have the freedom to take risks. Remember, almost no one downgrades their lifestyle on purpose.

Winners focus on winning. Losers focus on what winners are doing.

Know your why

What are your priorities? What do you stand for? What is your prize? You should have your own, personal answers to these questions. Otherwise, you hopelessly end up comparing yourself to others.

Educate yourself

Learn how to learn. Learn how to read. Learn how to eat. Learn how to workout. You are going to be living on the same earth in the same body for the rest of your life. You might as well optimize the things that don’t change.

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Nihal Parmar

Software Engineer @Crest Data System|| 6⭐ @HackerRank || Tech-Enthusiast || GSSoC’21 || Full Stack Developer